“Just a few housekeeping items…” Fuck.

Stole Advil from the office first aid kit for my hangover.

New girl just told me she can’t believe it’s already Friday. Must be nice not to have your soul crushed yet.

Ate a bag of popcorn for lunch today because it’s all I could afford.

I’m still sore from dancing to “Shout” at my cousin’s wedding.

Sometimes I just stare a blank Google page and shut my brain off for a couple minutes.

The “try as best you can to be productive today” team email the day before Memorial Day Weekend.

The casual “So, like, what’s the deal on the ‘random drug tests’ policy around here?” question when starting a new job.

The stalls in my office have no wifi or cell service.

Coworker quoted Nickelback during our morning meeting.

Submitting Pedialyte as an incidental expense when reconciling travel receipts.

Went on a date with a guy and came home to realize that I don’t even know his name.