Can’t remember the last time I bought Gatorade for a sports-related reason. PGP.
Seriously considering purposely shitting your pants to leave work early. PGP.
Searching your conference call host on LinkedIn only to discover they’re not as hot as they sounded. PGP.
Buying everyone donuts so they’ll think that was the reason you were late. PGP.
No one says, “Good morning!” anymore. Just, “Morning.” PGP.
Relating more to Ferris Bueller’s dad than Ferris. PGP.
“I just wanna lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” -Kevin Malone. PGP.
Passing out after four beers during a World Cup match between two teams you couldn’t care less about. PGP.
Corporate shut down my office and gave me severance. I should be looking for a job, but I’m looking forward to an all-expenses-paid summer. PGP.
I shit more in one day than I did a week in college. PGP.
When did that fat roll get here? PGP.
When my parents asked me what I wanted for my birthday this year, I asked for a sonicare toothbrush. PGP.