I thought social work was a good idea. PGP.

Just got an email saying we’re on track for record profits for the fourth quarter in a row. It was followed up with an email explaining why we’re not getting a Christmas bonus. PGP.

All I want for Christmas is for my coworkers to stop talking about their kids. PGP.

I just found out the girl I’ve been hooking up with has a kid. PGP.

I saw a coworker outside of work and walked to the complete other side of the parking lot to a random store just to avoid having to say hi. PGP.

Shooting for average. PGP.

A one-year subscription to the Jelly of the Month Club is $215. Griswold was an ungrateful SOB. PGP.

The only birthday card I got this year was from my used car dealer. PGP.

Cousin Eddie being unemployed for seven years because he’s holding out for a management position. PGP.

Between email, phone and in person, I’ve used the same ‘Enjoy the Holidays’ salutation nearly 50 times today. PGP.

Not needing an alarm clock. PGP.

The highlight of my week was setting up my auto reply email for Christmas vacation. PGP.

Naively thinking that college was the end of all-nighters. PGP.

Our boss must celebrate Festivus, because he definitely just led an Airing of Grievances. PGP.

My parents still have to co-sign on my apartment lease. PGP.

Someone brought a baby to my friend’s Christmas party. PGP.

May need to start doing a cost-benefit analysis for Christmas shopping. PGP.

Still haven’t bought Christmas presents for my family. PGP.

Just had my annual “Sorry we couldn’t promote you” phone call with corporate. PGP.

I listened to “Dust in the Wind” twice in a row on my way to work this morning. PGP.