America: Land Of The Free, Home Of The Rage

America: Land Of The Free, Home Of The Rage

Being that the United States is a melting pot, we take all other country’s good raging days and make them our own. No one in Ireland gives a shit about St. Patrick’s Day, but we make it a spectacle. Cinco de Mayo and the underrated Oktoberfest are other examples of repurposing other nations’ party days to fit our needs. Americans have no qualm with taking any event and making it a celebration (I’m looking at you, 4/20). We even had a Whiskey Rebellion in the name of our beloved spirits.

As Americans, we have a longstanding tradition of partying. Beginning with the Boston Tea Party, our Founding Fathers were fed up with England’s shit and decided to get drunk, dress up as Indians and throw tea in the ocean. You can say our country was founded on a good party.

As postgrads, rage fests are few and far between. It is easy to reminisce about “the good ol’ days” with no responsibility, lots of alcohol, fewer inhibitions, and minimal clothing. If anything, the adult factor makes these soirees even better. In college, every weekend was equivalent to St Patrick’s Day or whatever the theme was for that mixer. Now, we take time to honor the finer points of a good party, only with better funding and a deeper appreciation.

Other great days like Thanksgiving gloss over our history of Manifest Destiny to bring about a day of gluttony, football rivalries, and dealing with your family/family-in-law. In a similar fashion, holidays like Labor Day are a chance to get one more summer vacation in before it starts to get cold and college football season begins. There is nothing more American than a federally mandated holiday just to have a three-day weekend.

Some of our greatest party holidays are gifts from Uncle Sam. The 4th of July is the embodiment of America. What other holiday combines America’s greatest two pastimes: excessive eating and a bibulous spirit? To me, there’s nothing better than spending the day playing corn hole, drinking mass amounts of beer, grilling, pool time and everything decked out in red, white, and blue.

As we get older, have children, move away, etc., sometimes these wonderful parties are the occasion that brings everyone together. These events are something to look forward to and a way to stay in contact. Whether it’s family, old fraternity brothers, neighbors or whomever, a good banger brings out in all of us something that is in our blood: the need for release. As adults, these feelings often are suppressed but as Americans, it is our patriotic duty to rage.

I understand that it is no longer socially acceptable to be a party animal; show up to events hammered or be visibly intoxicated in a professional setting is generally frowned upon. No one wants to be the office mess and have to deal with the mean things people say to you when you’re hungover. But sometimes, a little bender here and there is freeing to the soul.

Last year, I picked Oktoberfest. Our town has a modest Oktoberfest tradition. They had a German band, various German beers, food and a great tent. I befriended my still-in-college neighbors and took the day off to party like its 2010. This day was easily one of the top ten most fun days I’ve had and I highly recommend it. Like taking a hike in nature, getting in touch with your party roots pays homage to the original founders of our great nation and is a great introspection into the psyche of the self.

Humans are social creatures. There is no shame in taking a break to extend the mileage, but the day you all together dismiss raging is the day you lose your humanity. While some places of employment may look down upon taking days off that happen to coincide with party days, who cares? Being of the “work to live, not live to work” mindset, these hallowed days of rage are the bread and butter of breaking up the monotony of post grad existence. The shit, shave, shower, work, come home, watch Netflix, then off to bed routine gets dull very quickly. Live a little. You can’t party when you’re dead. With Cinco de Mayo in the rear view and Memorial Day right around the corner, take the time on your federal holiday to remember the heroes that have given their all so that you can remain free and party in their honor.

Image via Shutterstock

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I specialize in damage control, being the drunkest at any and all functions and social assassination. Always appreciate a strong gif game. Follow me on Twitter. Sometimes I put up cool stuff about golfing at the local dirt tracks.

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