Your news feed still reliably containing the photo of a teenage J-Timberlake at the beginning of May every year. PGP.

Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, never been sicker. PGP

Having a job with no Health Insurance. PGP.

My father-in-law just endorsed me for Microsoft Excel on LinkedIn. PGP.

Getting unreasonably angry when someone takes “your” spot in the parking lot. PGP.

Woke up with heartburn. PGP.

Still hungover form Friday. PGP.

XBox recognizes my achievements more than my company. PGP

You know that old cliche to keep your eye on the ball? I keep my eye on the clock.

“You see Game of Thrones last night?”-PGP.

“Your password will expire in 3 days. Please reset password.” Don’t tell me how to live my life. PGP.

Double-flushers.