An upset client asking for your last name is the office equivalent of a “what’s your badge number?” PGP.

Found out the summer interns are going to make the same hourly rate I do. I’ve been here for 2 years. PGP.

Being genuinely shocked that your office pool didn’t win the Power Ball. PGP.

Minus $100 later and two weeks of shattered dreams, I guess I’m heading into the office today. PGP.

“Yeah, but they’re not going to get to keep all that money. A lot of it will go to taxes.” PGP.

My manager refers to us as consultants, but my paycheck does not. PGP.

I’m going to a networking event this afternoon. PGP.

There is literally a dumpster fire in the parking lot. PGP.

“You Millennials just don’t get it, do you?” PGP.

My desk just got moved to the storage room in the basement. PGP.

Antonio Cromartie having twins after getting a vasectomy. PGP.

Swiftly alt-tabbing to an equally unproductive tab. PGP.

Taking a snapchat selfie because you’re taller than the bathroom stall, only to have your boss walk in and see you because you’re taller than the bathroom stall. PGP.

Ugh. PGP.

Instead of offering a pay raise my boss said “Time for you to find a rich husband.” PGP.

No better way to confirm low office morale than discussing with your coworkers the possibility of becoming a billionaire and affirming everyone hates it there. PGP.

Not remembering which dating app you met on. PGP.

Cost-benefit analysis of paying for more tinder swipes. PGP.

The guy in the stall next to me clearly overdid it during the National Championship Game last night. PGP.

My 401K is down 2% this month. Better rethink going to Chili’s for lunch. PGP.