My “vacation” this year was visiting my parents for a week in Alabama. PGP.

Setting your alarm at the bar. PGP.

My body aches. PGP.

Seriously considering opening up a food truck. PGP.

So, big plans this weekend? PGP.

Employer just implemented random drug testing. PGP.

I took a day off to play Pokemon. PGP.

Entire Company has a half day, boss says need someone to “hold down the fort” until 4 p.m. while staring directly at you. PGP.

The classic hungover, burp, throw-up in the office bathroom’s sink. Fuck. PGP.

Wife has threatened to fly home if I don’t stop answering emails on vacation. PGP.

I tell people I can’t remember names because of concussions from football, but it’s really because I don’t care what their name is. PGP.

Today I had a coughing fit in the middle of leaving a client a voicemail. PGP.