Latest Google search: “Can you overdose on melatonin?” PGP.

Got way too enthusiastic about the “good deals” advertised in an appliances commercial. PGP.

Regional manager is taking the last 3 of us out to lunch this week. We’re going to the food court at the local mall. PGP.

Had my first sex related injury this weekend. PGP.

Seriously questioning if you really have to get a tire repaired after using fix-a-flat. PGP.

Getting into the office at 9 a.m. is fine, but leaving before 4 p.m. is a “half-day.” PGP.

Bought $11.50 eye drops for tired eyes instead of going out to lunch today. PGP.

Updating your LinkedIn profile at work. PGPowerMove.

The sarcastic “good for you” when you tell a coworker you’ll be off on Friday. PGP.

When you get drunk and sign up for The Bachelor because you’re 27, single, and unemployed. PGP.

I give zero fucks about what grade your kid is about to start. PGP.

Got rejected for a job because I’m over qualified. I would’ve taken the pay cut. PGP.