I eat with my in-laws as often as possible because they always pick up the tab. PGP.

Working on Columbus Day. PGP.

Had to use Coinstar to afford two six-packs for the weekend. PGP.

1/4-zip fleece game on point. PGP.

Someone in HR overheard me telling the interns an embellished sex story from college. Strike one. PGP.

There are two types of people in my office: people with hobbies and people with kids. I have neither. PGP.

1: “How’d you meet your wife?” 2: “Tinder.” PGP.

Thursdays are like getting blue balled by the weekend. PGP.