My parents are making me stay home this year for Halloween and hand out candy so they can go out with their friends. PGP.

Was told, “Thanks for keeping the seat warm for me, chief,” as I left the stall. PGP.Was told, “Thanks for keeping the seat warm for me, chief,” as I left the stall. PGP.

Not being able to afford a Dollar Shave Club membership. PGP.

Parking my POS car super close to the drivers side of the new corvette in the parking lot. PGPM.

Still trying to convince myself that I am one, really big poop away from my pants fitting right again. PGP.

Size 36 on Friday. Size 38 on Monday. PGP.

Using Tinder as my main source of social interaction. PGP.

“What do I have to lose?” PGP.