Being a democrat in college and a republican after your first paycheck. PGP.

I have 192 matches on Tinder, but have gotten laid zero times because I’m always too tired and lazy to follow through with trying to set up a date. PGP.

My friend got engaged last night. I went home and sent weird messages on Tinder. PGP.

I spent a total of about 53 seconds outside today. PGP.

I had a six-pack in high school. Never thought I could have back fat. PGP.

1: “She looks 20. Too young for you, bro.” 2: “Society blows.” PGP.

I don’t know what I want to do with the rest of my life. PGP.

Sitting down in the shower. PGP.

1: “Jeff’s wife just died” 2: “Who’s Jeff?” PGP.