“Welcome to the team!” being the words that start the rest of your miserable life. PGP.

I’m not too proud of the noise that just came out of my mouth because of the mouse that scurried by my desk. PGP.

People my age are buying houses, and I’m still trying to budget out groceries. PGP.

Celebrating your 5-year anniversary at a company you originally considered a short-term stepping stone. PGP.

Tinder is in the “Games” folder on my iPhone, and that’s exactly where it should be. PGP.

Got a flat tire after work. Didn’t tell anyone, but took a picture to use as an excuse if I’m ever late. PGP.

I’ve learned how to sleep sitting up. PGP.

The excitement of your college buddies coming to visit being overshadowed by the fear of the hit to your bank account. PGP.

This guy I work with walks by my desk every day at 4 to get his mail, signifying there’s an hour left in the workday. We have never spoken or exchanged a glance. He is hands down my favorite coworker. PGP.

I imagine some master alarm sounding in the IT room with flashing red lights every time I attempt to access a blocked site. PGP.