Lady next to me is already listening to Josh Groban’s Christmas album. PGP.

The VP of our division just sent me a happy birthday email. I don’t like that he knows my name now. PGP.

Getting a girlfriend was the best decision socially and worst decision financially. PGP.

“I’d rather have a beer.” -Sideburns. PGP.

I eat with my in-laws as often as possible because they always pick up the tab. PGP.

The new Rolaids look delicious. PGP.

It’s almost “drive to work in the dark, drive home in the dark” season. PGP.

Depression from your team’s loss on Sunday violently colliding with your Monday depression. PGP.

The least productive part of my day is when I’m at work. PGP.