Forgetting your headphones is like the end of the world. PGP.

Office summer party is tomorrow. I don’t think I can take an extra 3+ hours of pretending to like these people. PGP.

Paying rent before your friend’s bachelor party because you don’t trust yourself. PGP.

Opened up a Roth IRA today. Childhood officially dead.

I just suggested fantasy football as a team building exercise.

Having an inferior credit card rewards program than your friends. PGP.

I’m putting in my two weeks on Friday. I’m pretty sure they’re going to fire me when I do. PGP

“Hi! I’m just calling to follow up” PGP

The cookie cutter for $5.29 on the wedding registry was definitely put there with me in mind.

I keep saying I have doctor’s appointments when really I’m going on interviews. I think my boss thinks I’m dying. PGP.