My new computer turned out to be a rebuilt version of my old one #PGP

My bathroom schedule is synced up with the 75 year old man in the office. PGP.

Holy shit, I can’t do this for the rest of my life…PGP.

I bet if I left right now, no one would notice. PGP.

That asshole in front of you at Chipotle ordering for the office. PGP

I always check my “sent” folder to make sure I sent the email to the right person. PGP.

Jimmy Johns delivery took 53 minutes. It’s 2 miles from where i work. PGP

My wife definitely settled. PGP.

My boss just discovered Florida Georgia Line. He also controls our radio. PGP.

I’m in the minority of Americans who actually drink enough water. But only because it’s free and gives me a chance to get up and walk to the break room.