Put in my two weeks notice and got a hefty raise and promotion instead. I still want to quit. PGP.

Buying Nike Dri-Fit clothing knowing full well that you will never wear it for its intended use. PGP.

Had a nice exchange with my mailman this morning. PGP.

Asking for a Jos. A. Bank gift card for your birthday. PGP.

Sucking in the double chin and the gut at the same time. PGP.

Pretending you didn’t see you were tagged in the ice bucket challenge because you’re to poor to donate. PGP.

Getting a power trip from having your own intern. PGP.

I’m starting to think before I act. PGP.

The hardest I worked today was charting my coworkers BMs to figure out the ideal time to use the handicap stall for number two. PGP.

Haven’t gotten a Tinder match in about a week. I’m telling myself it’s an issue with their servers. PGP.