It’s not a question of whether or not I’ll have drinks after work, it’s how many. PGP.

Drove half way to work until I realized it was Sunday.

Forgot to put on deodorant this morning. Had to train a hot new intern. She was repulsed by me. PGP.

Jared Leto visited our office for some reason today. Almost asked him if he’s still handling the Fisher account. PGP.

My only Tinder match in the past week ended up blocking me. I didn’t even say hi. PGP.

I miss being able to relate to TFM. PGP.

LinkedIn suggested that I connect with the officer who arrested me freshman year. PGP.

Every day at work, I park under an old tree in the hopes that it will fall and I can then collect the insurance money on my totaled car. PGP.

Being too old to pretend you have a chance with a professional athlete anymore. PGP.

My boss is letting everyone hang out in the conference room and watch the World Cup. I hate soccer. PGP.