Asked a coworker how his weekend was: “Still single. Still poor.” PGP.

These girls on linkedin are hot. PGP

I’ve started attending my church again solely for the networking opportunities.

I almost said “compliments to the chef”at a Chili’s.

The tone deaf land whale in the next cubicle has been singing oldies all… day… long.

“A one night stand from college just added me to LinkedIn and daily checks out my profile… how did he figure out my last name?” PGP

“Ass ass ass ass ass ass.” Forgetting to change XM to the classic rock station before heading to lunch with coworkers. PGP.

I don’t remember the last time my gas tank was full.