The only productive thing I’ve done today is download iOS 8. PGP.

I can’t tell if I have low libido or if I’m just too tired to jack off anymore. PGP.

This whole Ray Rice thing really makes me wonder how many times someone has seen me pick my nose while riding an elevator alone. PGP.

Being the first person to crack open a beer in the corporate skybox. PGPM.

Just started a new job. PGP is blocked on our network. PGP.

I used to hate it when my mom packed me NutriGrain bars for lunch. I would almost kill for one right now. PGP.

Making eye contact through that gap in the stall door. PGP.

I’m starting to think all these recruiters on Linkedin are just contacting me to look busy at their jobs, because there is no way I’m qualified for what they are asking for. PGP.

Getting your testosterone levels checked. PGP.