I’d love to quit, but if I can get them to fire me, I get severance and unemployment. PGP.

Not understanding how people with lower salaries manage to eat out every night.

I wish skipping work was as simple as skipping class.

Finding out years later that your parents were right. About everything. PGP

The paradox of days passing very slowly, but the months passing all too fast.

There’s only free food in the office when I’m attempting to go on a diet.

I’d be a millionaire by now if it weren’t for student loans, bills, car payments, and taxes. PGP.

I’ve been faking it for over a year now, when do I start to make it?

All your best tweets going to your drafts to die cuz you’re paranoid the offensive content will get you fired