I quoted “Varsity Blues” in a meeting. No one had any idea what the fuck I was talking about. PGP.

It’s that time of year, where you drive to and from work and see absolutely no sunlight. PGP.

Finding out the real world doesn’t celebrate Columbus Day, the hard way. PGP.

You can tell a lot about a man from his shoes. Like how often he poops at work. PGP.

My little brother just graduated law school in the top five percent of his class. My dog got kicked out of obedience school. PGP.

Rewarding yourself for not drinking Monday and Tuesday by getting hammered before 6pm on a Wednesday. PGP.

1/4-zip fleece game on point. PGP.

Can’t wait for November so I can stop shaving and not feel guilty about it. PGP.

Someone in HR overheard me telling the interns an embellished sex story from college. Strike one. PGP.

There are two types of people in my office: people with hobbies and people with kids. I have neither. PGP.