Too old to have roommates. Too poor to live alone. PGP.

I purposely print from the printer across the office to have an excuse to leave my desk. PGP.

Wednesday: Finally feel recovered from the weekend. Thursday: Happy hour. PGP.

Not noticing that your raise kicked in. PGP.

The intern is more productive than I am. PGP.

I’ve gotten several compliments on my new car the last few days. It’s a rental. PGP.

I am so used to making the “jerking off” motion under my desk while on the phone. Yesterday I accidentally made it while talking to a manager. I am still praying he did not notice. PGP.

Bank info was stolen, but none of the fraudulent charges went through because I don’t have enough money to afford the things they tried to buy. PGP.

Had a dream I was fired and got a huge severance package. Best dream ever. PGP.

Going to the bathroom out of sheer boredom. PGP.