Mary Swanson

Both a bitter and optimistic 24-year-old entry-level underachiever with 2-4 friends and 0 talents. Washed up is an understatement. I prefer almost all my food luke-warm, what does that say about me?

Member Since 01/14/2014

5 Signs You’re Not Cut Out For Rec League Sports

The Evolution Of Your Profile Picture

Things Our Kids Will Probably Miss Out On

Science Reveals The Easiest Way To Flirt And It’s Simpler Than You Think

Big middle finger to whoever just heated up fish in the kitchen microwave. PGP.

Post Grad Problems

Now In NYC: Cupcake ATMs

A Response To That Letter You Wrote Your Future Self In Fifth Grade

Putting on headphones that aren’t even plugged into anything in order to avoid office discourse. PGP.

Post Grad Problems

Some Danish bros went and made a video of what applying Tinder IRL might look like. The saucy minx walks through the video swiping real men left or right based on her preferences. The men go flying left in quite the dramatic fashion. But alas, the fine lady comes upon one she deems worthy of a swipe right, but will the feeling be mutual?

All I know is this lady is delusional. She denies all the men under the age of 45 from the looks of it. Then boom, she picks the oldest and ugliest one of them all and is not ironically, rejected.

I think this is supposed highlight how ridiculous (read: efficient) and superficial (read: accurate) the app is as a ‘dating’ tool. Not sure how it works with the Danes, but I’m pretty sure no one here uses it as a real dating app. We refuse to ‘date’ anyways. We just want some good ole fashioned heavy petting as quickly and cheaply as possible.

What Would Tinder Be Like In Real Life?

A Guide To Looking Productive At Work