Mary Swanson

Both a bitter and optimistic 24-year-old entry-level underachiever with 2-4 friends and 0 talents. Washed up is an understatement. I prefer almost all my food luke-warm, what does that say about me?

Member Since 01/14/2014

“In 2000, I was duped by Y2K. I thought that the world was coming to an end,”

After watching and rewatching the first seven episodes of True Detective, I’m not certain of much in this ‘reality’ of ours. But if there’s one thing I know, besides that Rust here has has an absolutely breath taking hiney and Marty should NOT be pulling the girls he does, it’s that this is the best parody of True Detective to date.

The genius behind this is Jon Rudnitsky and, upon further research, has a variety of other great videos on the Tube, namely The Jewish Hunger Game: Kvetching Fire. I’m not sure I can get away with staring at my phone (uh, no of course I don’t have access to Youtube) for the rest of the day while I laugh obnoxiously, but I’m sure as shit going to try. Fuck it, it’s Friday.

How McConaughey’s Pre-Oscars Interview Went Down

What Kind Of Mom Will You Be?

I’ve cried more times in my cube in 9 months than I did in 4 years of college. PGP.

Post Grad Problems

Get Ready For The Next Big Fashion Trend: “Dad” Clothes AKA “Normcore”

An Argument For Attending At Least One Music Festival In Your 20s

The IT desktop takeover to install some software just made me miss 2 Team USA goals. PGP.

Post Grad Problems

The Evolution Of Your Birthday Party

Can I bill an hour under “cleaning out inbox?” PGP.

Post Grad Problems

Things Every Woman Needs To Take Advantage Of In Her Early 20s

Buying a plant for your cubicle because you heard it helps with depression. PGP.

Post Grad Problems