Having to save your girlfriend’s work cell phone number separately from her personal so you know never to sext it. PGP.

Predicting tomorrow’s hangover. PGP

“Admit nothing, deny everything, make counter accusations”

The training dummies we used for CPR training have more life in them than I do. PGP

Actually liking your tinder date. PGP.

She wanted a date. I invited her to a networking event instead.

She liked my LinkedIn post, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.

I’m just trying to not throw up PGP

Googling “pros and cons of being an uber driver”. PGP.

Damn I should have been a teacher.