Got a buzz from a mini bottle of JD on a flight. Between not eating and dehydration I’ve become a shell of my younger self. PGP.

Being able to lip sync your coworkers’ usual responses to your morning greetings as you walk away. PGP.

Sprained my ankle. Turns out everyone I work with is a doctor. PGP.

Post-grad walk of shame- when you spend too much time on your phone when you’re in the crapper and have to walk back to your cube with one or more of your legs asleep. This happens to me a few times a week. PGP.

Hit a deer. I’m more upset about the fact that I am a week behind on podcasts because my rental doesn’t have Bluetooth than I am about the actual damage to the car. PGP.

Last week at my job, all desire to even act like I’m trying is gone. PGP.

The woman next to me brought fucking spaghettios and is eating them at 8 a.m. I’m going to throw up. PGP.

I shit my pants at work today. PGP.