Forget the freshman fifteen, the cubicle fifteen is real. PGP.

The guy that sits beside me, Patrick, is a 40-year-old part time student at the local college while working an entry level sales job, and constantly reminisces about when he used to “crush sales” with a Land Rover dealership. PGP.

Finally have three years of work under my belt, so I can now apply for other entry level jobs that required 3-5 years of experience. PGP.

I’m just here so I don’t get fired. PGP.

7 a.m. is the new sleeping in. PGP.

Some guy I don’t know just endorsed me for a skill I don’t have. PGP.

The closest thing I have to a man cave is the handicapped stall in the secret office bathroom. PGP.

I put clean clothes on the bed. When I sleep I put the clothes on the chair. I repeat this process until all my clothes are dirty again, then restart. PGP.

I’ve perfected the art of using a diagonal piece of bread as a hot dog bun. PGP.

I’m on the apple a day health care plan. PGP.