Mike Trout is 23 and won the AL MVP. I’m 23 and won a new mouse pad in our office raffle. PGP.

“We’re always looking for new talent, submit your resume and we’ll get back to you.” No you aren’t and no you won’t. PGP.

Internet explorer 7. Enough said. PGP.

Counting sex as a workout. PGP.

Working on Veterans Day. PGP

Weeks and weeks of online training and examinations. Finally able to start selling and make commission. First call? Straight to voicemail. PGP.

I lost the radio war in the office. Now, I hear “All About That Bass” at least five times a day. PGP.

Getting asked by every fucking friend and family member if you know Jake upon accepting a job with State Farm. PGP.

The back of my cube is a wall, so no one can see my screen. I feel like a god. PGP.

I can’t imagine a bigger waste of time than having a 40+ year old exec trying to explain our company’s social media platforms to a group of new grads. PGP.