I bought a 12-pack of Natural Light last night, just to feel young again. PGP.

The only “raging” I do anymore is getting blackout drunk watching Netflix. Alone. PGP.

Understanding what the “Friends” theme song was all about more and more every single day of my life. PGP.

Now I know what my parents were talking about. PGP.

Being on double secret probation isn’t as fun as it was in college. PGP.

“What the fuck are we supposed to be doing?” PGP.

The first word out of my mouth every day is “fuuuuuuck.” PGP.

So. Many. Weddings. PGP.

Mint.com and I have much different definitions of the term “Low Balance on Checking.” PGP.

There are teachers that make more than me and get all summer off. PGP.