Everyone is getting leg cramps and shit during sex and I’m over here like, what is this “sex”? PGP

Using all your sick days when you’re hungover so you have to work when you’re actually sick. PGP

Hit the accelerator on a yellow light today, it’s the most alive I’ve felt all month. PGP

“I’ll go to the gym tomorrow for sure.” PGP.

Pandora is blocked so I dumped my 60 GB music library on my work tower. PGPM

Forgot I had lowered my chair and sat on my balls. PGP.

Got to try out some new cleaning products over the weekend.

I think my work husband is jealous of my other work husband.

Sunday Funday just meaning a pounding headache and trying to go to sleep already hungover. PGP

My friend just had a kid on purpose. PGP.