Watching all these Ice Bucket Challenges make me glad I don’t have that many friends anymore. PGP.

When people in the office go “out” to lunch, they get a dollar menu item from a fast food joint. PGP.

Considering moving to the suburbs so you have an excuse to not go out drinking and go to sleep early on the weekends. PGP.

Not sure what’s harder to find, an empty, odor-free bathroom at work or a single attractive girl over 25 without major problems. PGP.

I’m so bored, I just went to the bathroom for a change of scenery. PGP.

I ate a hamburger bun for breakfast. PGP.

Work is slow and quiet today. It’s making me anxious. PGP.

Day dreaming about sex in my morning meeting. PGP.

Realizing that by “stay in school” they meant “don’t ever leave.” PGP.

No more sleepovers on weeknights. PGP.