While I really appreciate it, giving me my own office with a door was a big mistake as far as productivity goes. PGP.

The guy next to me quit so I switched my monitor for his bigger one. PGPM.

No idea what happened to FIFA, but I’ve had three separate conversations about it.

1: “Did you see my email?”2: “Yeah… Looking at it right now…” PGP

“You were such a loyal supporter of the fraternity as an undergrad, would you consider making a recurring donation now that you’re an alumni?”

I don’t go to happy hour with my coworkers for fear of getting drunk and telling them how much I hate them

My life goal is to be so successful that it hurts my ex girlfriends feelings. PGP

“When I was your age, I was just like you.” PGP.

Finally got laid by using eharmonys free trial weekend. PGP.

“We are continuing to monitor the adverse conditions in the Houston area. However, operations are expected to continue as normal.” PGP.