I haven’t had sex with my girlfriend since we moved in together. PGP.

I used to get excited when my cell phone rang. Now I panic. PGP.

The new guy quit today. Back to being the low man on the totem pole. PGP.

Matched with the new girl on Bumble, and she never messaged me. Now every interaction is awkward. PGP.

Wasn’t going to come to work on the 5th. Just received a meeting invite. PGP.

Showing up to work and realizing you left the cap off of your favorite pen the night before. PGP.

The intern has a bigger work space than me. PGP.

Sipping on that pepto before dining out cause I’m not about that heartburn and indigestion life. PGP.

Forgot my headphones today, and people are actually trying to talk to me. PGP.