I’m now proud of myself whenever I don’t black out on weekends.

Typed “lunch” in an iMessage and my predictive text immediately brought up “beer.”

Having a favorite stall.

Really productive conference call. Left with four new matches by the end of it.

Swiped right on an ex’s Bumble profile.

Every time someone calls in sick, rumors swirl about that person interviewing at another firm.

Director just made me print several hefty documents I initially emailed to her because she “doesn’t do emails.”

Coworker wanting to discuss a project while I’m using the bathroom.

Worked from home and fell asleep during a conference call. No one noticed.

It’s gotten to a point where my coworker would breathe and I instantaneously want to punch his face.