I changed my password this morning to a liquor followed by a numerical “1.” PGP.

My friends are all getting engaged. I’m still puking on street corners. PGP.

Sometimes I stay late when I have nothing to do after work. PGP.

Finding weed is hard. PGP.

Watching “American Greed” for ideas on how to get rich quick. PGP.

It’s almost “drive to work in the dark, drive home in the dark” season. PGP.

This whole Ray Rice thing really makes me wonder how many times someone has seen me pick my nose while riding an elevator alone. PGP.

“Well, look who decided to show up.” I was 5 minutes late. PGP

Taking a bright-eyed, eager new hire under my wing and ever-so-subtly transferring my daily workload to him. PGPM.

I want my friends to know that my PGP account is me, but I don’t want my employers to know. PGP.