Someone at the office announced they were retiring today. I still have 40 more years. PGP

Allocating your tax return into weekly dividends of slightly better liquor throughout the next year.

Some college kids at a bar refereed to me “Blue” last night. PGP

My friend just had a kid, and now he sucks. PGP

I got a yellow onion at the store instead of a red one. Just to mix things up. PGP

When your weekend plans are either “catch up on sleep” or “get blackout drunk”. PGP.

Today is my birthday, and it doesn’t matter. PGP

Adopting a “maintain, don’t gain” diet mindset. PGP

My boss told me to take it easy this weekend. #PGP

Blowing your nose with paper towels. PGP.