*audible sigh* PGP.

Having adult acne. PGP.

Feeling like a new man after your morning BM. PGP.

Being able to lip sync your coworkers’ usual responses to your morning greetings as you walk away. PGP.

My boss saw this push notification on my phone: “Your saved job ____ is about to expire. Don’t wait to apply!” PGP.

Hit a deer. I’m more upset about the fact that I am a week behind on podcasts because my rental doesn’t have Bluetooth than I am about the actual damage to the car. PGP.

Last week at my job, all desire to even act like I’m trying is gone. PGP.

I shit my pants at work today. PGP.