Your boss interrupting a call he made to you with “Hold on while I hit this next shot.” PGP.

FICA tax is making me resent my grandma. PGP.

Thinking your girlfriend is physically attracted to you. PGP.

Listening to the execs plan their trip to the Hamptons. I’m excited for a seven dollar bar crawl this weekend. PGP.

Checking the breakroom snack counter every 30 minutes to see if any food magically appeared. Just like your refrigerator at home. PGP.

Everyone in the office has been losing their shit over how awesome the newly installed Dyson Blade hand-dryers are. PGP.

Going into empty conference rooms to rip farts. PGP.

My boss says, “See you tomorrow?” instead of “See you tomorrow.” PGP.

Fighting the urge to respond, “Yeah, no shit” when your superior ends a conversation with “This is serious.” PGP.

Actually debating the merits between a booty call and getting sleep. PGP.