My floor’s bathroom stalls do not get reception. PGP.

“Cash me outside, how bout dah?” Has finally infiltrated my office. PGP.

Never been messaged on Bumble. PGP.

I shit my pants at work today. PGP.

Jealous of high school kids studying for their AP exams at Starbucks while working remotely. PGP.

Workin’ hard but it’s hardly workin’. PGP.

My boss told me I should look into “getting some ADD medicine.” I don’t think I should tell him that I just don’t care about work. PGP.

Creating a PGP account while on a never-ending conference call. PGP.

Intently reading a piece of paper when your boss walks by to look busy. PGP.

I mentioned to my parents that I take toilet paper from hotels during business trips and now they’re convinced I’m having money trouble. PGP.