Spending Sunday looking for the fire alarm that is making noise. PGP

Wondering if today is going to be the day you yell “shut the hell up” at the office.

I like to print random documents to a printer on the other side of the office, and walk a lap through the office with it in my hand. An hour later, I’ll walk another lap back, and shred it. It looks like work and makes my cardiologist happy. PGP

Being terrified when asked “What is your desired salary?” PGP

Coffee breath and busted brackets.

I ate McDonald’s in my car before work and laugh-cried. PGP.

“Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly far far away from here.”

One of my employees just quit via text message

Turns out 9 to 5 is just an expression

Using extra hand sanitizer to mask the smell of last night’s happy hour.