Receiving an email from Cindy marked as ‘urgent’ at 4:30 on Halloween Friday. PGP.

I can’t tell anyone at work what I’m going to be for Halloween because it’s too crude and they wouldn’t get the humor. PGP

Telling a joke about a fat chick while the office fat chick is actually listening PGP

People in the office are bringing their kids in Friday to trick or treat. Now I have to share my candy. PGP

Being told that wearing a costume tomorrow “while not mandatory, it is highly recommended to promote team building and unity.” $25 gift card to Applebee’s prize for the winner

Bonnaroo dreams. Spotify reality. PGP.

Probably should have thrown some vodka in my OJ this morning

An iPhone working in an Android office…

Thought I had to poop so I went to the bathroom but it ended just being a big fart. Still stayed in the stall for 10 min. PGP.

Oh cool, we got new pens. PGP.