I thought Sausage Party was too over the top. PGP.

If I had a dollar for every time I threw up on myself in the morning on my way to work, I’d probably have enough to cover happy hour this evening.

My coworkers talk about their kids, I talk about CrossFit. PGPowermove

Buying pedialyte in anticipation of tomorrow morning. PGP.

My friends asked me to go with them to the midnight screening of the new Captain America movie, told them it was too late. PGP.

May the 4th be with you PGP

XBox recognizes my achievements more than my company. PGP

“Heard you were a legend last night.” PGP.

The sense of relief you feel when a second tier friend cancels plans. PGP.

Your boss casually pranking you in the airport by placing a gun shaped turbo lighter and Japanese adult mags in your carry-on bag while you’re away to get coffee for him. Be ware of Asian bosses.