“Welcome to Chipot– oh hey man, you want the usual?” PGP.

Weekly computer troubleshooting phone calls from family because you work in IT. PGP.

I swear this is my last time downloading Tinder. PGP.

“Please don’t talk to me. Please don’t talk to me. Please don’t talk to me.” PGP.

Took an Addy for the first time since college. Haven’t gotten any work done, but have the most organized cubicle in my office and am now friends with every new hire. PGP.

The weather is pretty average so there’s not much to talk about with most of the office. PGP.

Now my eyes actually are red because of allergies. PGP.

Warmed the toilet seat for the company president today. Gave him a single pistol and said, “You’re welcome.” PGP.

Bring your child to work day is the best birth control. PGP.