1: “I wanna go home.” 2: “We all do.” PGP.

Signed up for Mint.com. All I receive from them are “Low Balance Warning” emails. PGP.

Day 2 of taking Adderall: still no actual work done, but just in case anyone asks, I have exactly 318 Post-it’s in 7 different colors and the building I can see from my cubicle has 240 windows. PGP.

“So no one told you life was gonna be this way. Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, your love life’s D.O.A. It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear. When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.” PGP.

“Welcome to Chipot– oh hey man, you want the usual?” PGP.

Took an Addy for the first time since college. Haven’t gotten any work done, but have the most organized cubicle in my office and am now friends with every new hire. PGP.

Really thought I’d be making more money at this age. PGP.

Spending hours meticulously crafting a playlist at work. PGP.

I feel like I’m Leonardo DiCaprio from Catch Me If You Can. Every day I go to my new job, dressing and acting like I belong, and wondering when they’ll figure out I don’t know shit. PGP.