I hate it here. PGP.

My Halloween news feed went from a bunch of girls in slutty costumes to a bunch of babies in costumes. PGP.

You would think getting a raise would mean I could quit my second job. PGP.

Trying to figure out a Halloween costume is giving me anxiety. PGP.

Getting asked by every fucking friend and family member if you know Jake upon accepting a job with State Farm. PGP.

Showing my boss – who makes a quarter of a million dollars a year – how to make “cool bullet sounds” for his PowerPoint presentation. PGP.

Introvert in the office. Extrovert in literally every other aspect of my life. PGP.

Whoops, got drunk on a Tuesday. PGP.

Legitimately asking cashiers “How’s your day going?” not out of politeness, but because I’m so eager to interact with anybody outside of my office. PGP.

It’s Tuesday. I’m still hungover from Saturday. PGP.