Director just made me print several hefty documents I initially emailed to her because she “doesn’t do emails.”

Coworker wanting to discuss a project while I’m using the bathroom.

Worked from home and fell asleep during a conference call. No one noticed.

It’s gotten to a point where my coworker would breathe and I instantaneously want to punch his face.

“Hey, how’s it going?” “Well, it’s going…”

The new girl who started this week just said, “This is the longest week ever.”

Coworker forgot to press mute on a conference call and the entire company heard her say, “Fuck this shit.”

I’ve used up most of my PTO going to job interviews.

Having a date at 8 p.m. and already worrying you’ll get home past your bedtime.

Stuttering when my doctor asks me how many alcoholic beverages I consume per week.