Long blank stares at the ceiling before getting out of bed for work.

Bumble match asked about my height. Was unmatched immediately after telling her.

I put in my notice and the company owner told me not to bother coming back.

“Just a few housekeeping items…” Fuck.

Stole Advil from the office first aid kit for my hangover.

Ate a bag of popcorn for lunch today because it’s all I could afford.

The stalls in my office have no wifi or cell service.

Coworker quoted Nickelback during our morning meeting.

Submitting Pedialyte as an incidental expense when reconciling travel receipts.

Went on a date with a guy and came home to realize that I don’t even know his name.