My boss walks into my office and asks, “What are you working on?” like he’s trying to catch me not working. Every. Single. Day. PGP

Decided to be healthy and take the stairs this morning. Tripped and spilled my coffee. PGP.

My stocks took a hit today. PGP.

I’m starting to order more water than beer at the bar. PGP.

Office’s computer network was hacked so all systems are down. I’ve being doing newspaper puzzles all morning and getting paid for it. PGP.

My job frequently touts “Work/Life Balance” but regularly denies PTO… PGP.

That one neighbor who doesn’t shovel his portion of the sidewalk…oh wait that was me. PGP.

Got food poisoning on the second day of my honeymoon. PGP.

Feeling proud for stopping at three beers. PGP.

My 11-year-old cousin gets more Instagram likes than I do. PGP.