“Please apply through our online portal.” Also known as the place where resumes go to die. PGP.

The overly talkative coworker that asks, “Why do you wear headphones?” PGP.

Took Monday – Thursday off. Still had 5 ass chewings today. PGP.

“Please disregard my last email.” PGP.

Everyone on the project team calls me Junior. I’m 25. PGP.

My parents just told me I need to double my life insurance after seeing my student loan total. PGP.

Wearing the same two pairs of pants to work each week. PGP.

Reading articles about my future employer being on the bad end of a hostile takeover in my panic room. PGP.

Not today Sallie Mae. PGP.

Using Google to fix 99% of your problems. PGP.