I’m at least 20 years younger than everyone in my office. PGP.

I sound so much nicer in my office voicemail than I actually am in real life. PGP.

Knowing your cube mate’s bathroom schedule. PGP.

Since becoming a dad, I’ve become so out of touch with fashion I don’t think Johnny D’s clothes look that bad. PGP.

I thought Sausage Party was too over the top. PGP.

Does anyone actually use the “low importance” option in outlook? PGP.

Got locked out of my Twitter account for “Suspicious Activity.” All I did was change my bio. PGP.

Triple checking your alarm. PGP.

Need to find a drug guy. Coffee is just not getting it done anymore. PGP.

Sometimes the best part of my day is riding the elevator alone. PGP.